This Week’s Topic : F*ck Having Cramps And Anxiety! F*ck With The GOAT Magnesium
Your Weekly Source For Truth & Clarity
CoCo
March 21, 2025 • Estimated Reading Time: 6 minutes
ANXIETY
This is going to be some of the realest questions you have heard all week. Are you ready? Have you went boo boo today? No, seriously. Has your body ever been hella sore and tired, or your muscle are mad tight, and you don’t want anybody to touch it or massage it cuz they will make it worse? You can’t lose that last few pounds of hard lard around your belly no matter how many ab workouts you do so you are low key hella mean but don’t know why?
But we are here to help. I’m sure you prolly just need to take a $hit, that’s why you mean as f*ck. That’s my question to kids especially. Stomach ache, go boo boo, headache, did you boo boo? Lol, Crazy right? We’ll see a littIe later. I have suggestions and a possible cure for all that and a local drug store has them . Come f*ck with me and see what naturally relieves :
Stress & Anxiety
Muscle Recovery & Pain
Boosts Energy & Fights Fatigue
Supports Heart Health
Hormonal Balance & PMS
Bone & Joint Health
Better Sleep
THE GOAT
You know we gotta get to first things first so let me tell you. Did you know Magnesium is the GOAT of minerals—seriously, your body loves this stuff. It keeps you calm, energized, and functioning like a well-oiled machine. Magnesium is an essential mineral that plays a pivotal role in numerous physiological processes within the human body.
Recently suffering from all of the above I experimented with it and let me tell all it helps with 1. Stress & Anxiety Relief Magnesium = natural chill pill, it helps reduce cortisol (stress hormone) improves sleep and fights off anxiety. 2. Muscle Recovery & Pain Relief magnesium eases muscle cramps, tension, and soreness, it’s great for post-workout recovery and preventing leg cramps and it can help with migraines & headaches.
You know how you be hella tired Magnesium helps 3. Boost Energy & Fights Fatigue it turns food into energy, keeping you from feeling sluggish, it helps with chronic fatigue & brain fog. Magnesium also 4. Supports Heart Health lowers blood pressure and supports circulation plus helps prevent heart disease and keeps your heartbeat steady.
PMS & THE SUGAS
Magnesium is beneficial to your body because it 5. Regulates Blood Sugar by helping to balance insulin and prevent sugar crashes and it’s great for people managing diabetes or sugar cravings it’s also a beast and is great for women when those cramps are whoopin’ your a$$ because it supports 6. Hormonal Balance & PMS Relief it reduces PMS symptoms like bloating, mood swings, and cramps and supports estrogen and progesterone balance.
Magnesium helps with 7. Bone & Joint Health it works with calcium to keep bones strong and helps prevent osteoporosis and joint pain. It can be used for 8. Better Sleep magnesium helps produce melatonin (your sleep hormone) and relaxes your nervous system for deeper, high-quality sleep. You better get some and see for yourself.
How to Take It
Magnesium Glycinate – Best for anxiety, sleep, & stress relief
Magnesium Citrate – Great for digestion & constipation relief
Magnesium L-Threonate – Best for brain health & memory
Epsom Salt Baths – Relax muscles & absorb magnesium through your skin
Always read directions for dosage on the back of the bottle.
PILLS AND POTIONS
How to Take Magnesium Citrate for Constipation
Magnesium citrate is a fast-acting laxative, so be ready. Here’s how to use it safely:
Dosage
Adults: 10 oz (296 mL) of liquid magnesium citrate (or as directed on the bottle).
Children (6-12 years): 5 oz (148 mL), but check with a doctor first.
For pills or powder: Follow the dosage on the label.
Best Way to Take It
Drink it on an empty stomach with a full glass of water.
Chill the bottle in the fridge before drinking—it helps with taste.
If using powder, mix with water or juice.
When to Expect Results
Works within 30 minutes to 6 hours—so don’t make big plans
Stay near a bathroom and drink plenty of fluids to prevent dehydration.
Warnings & Precautions
Don’t take daily—it’s a short-term fix, not a long-term solution.
Avoid if you have kidney disease, heart issues, or are on medications—talk to a doctor first.
If constipation persists for more than a few days, seek medical advice. Don’t be crazy.
SLEEP-AID
Here’s a simple 3-ingredient nighttime drink with tart cherry & magnesium to help you sleep like a dream:
Dreamy’s Cherry Magnesium Sleep Elixir
Ingredients
1/2 cup tart cherry juice – natural source of melatonin for deep sleep
1/2 tsp magnesium powder (magnesium glycinate or citrate) – relaxes muscles & calms the mind
1/2 cup sparkling or still water – hydrates & balances flavor
Instructions
Mix tart cherry juice and water in a glass.
Stir in magnesium powder until fully dissolved.
Sip 30 minutes before bed and let the magic happen.