This Week’s Topic: Your Mom Had An Anxiety Attack This Morning

BUT FIRST ANXIETY

Happy Friday! Can I spit some real shit for a sec? I really need to talk. This issue is a bit different today, and a bit longer but fck it, I gotta get this off me. I can’t stop crying. First off, let me say sorry to my dog Zorro, I love you buddy, I lost my shit, Nama was off this morning my guy and fck anxiety. I hope this helps someone today. Writing this was tough today, no cap. I had an anxiety attack this morning. Fck that. It seemed like it lasted 30 hours. This time it was kinda different though, I felt like “Venom in Let There Be Carnage” it felt like rage, or PMS, and I was hot as fck and fighting for my fcking life. It was not cool. I felt out of control, and all I could do was cry my ass off and fcking try to self-soothe by rocking myself back and forth like you do and child. Fck a breathing exercise and fck a backwards countdown from 10, at that moment, I was not thinking about that shit. All that shit was out the window. There was no understanding. I was so pissed off, frustrated, scared and unclear on why. I just wanted it to be over. Thank God my kid was home and talked me down, cuz I was up there. Thanks B. It took a bit to calm the fck down, but I finally did. And all this before my cup of coffee. Damn anxiety, what are you doing up at 7am, can I get some breakfast first?

WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

So I’m enjoying my cup of coffee right, and I start thinking about what happened earlier and if I’m doing okay. Let me tell you, I am not the best version of me right now, I could feel better and get back to my center of peace and happiness, but overall, I’m good. Was it fear, sadness, anger? Not sure, but I know it had me on lock like a bitch this morning. You can only take so much before breaking from all that pressure. After taking hit after hit, and loss after loss, then some more loss Maybe it all finally caught up with me and hit the reset switch, and I needed to cry, I am crying and wiping my eyes right now writing. It’s cancer month so this was not my original release, but I was overcome with emotions, and I felt like shit, so I had to share with you, cuz maybe you can help me or have felt this before. I feel like I am terrified of loving people because I end up alone, they leave me, or all of a sudden they die. In return we stop or pause what we are doing, and lose ourselves. But maybe that is the opposite of what we should do. Is it just anxiety? I need to figure this out.

THE TRAD WIFE LIFE

Could it be personal trauma? It takes a lot to do what I do, and to be me. It’s hard to live up to myself when I’m down. I feel like I’m butt-ass naked right now standing in front of you talking. I took hard ass hits this year, so I am indeed feeling overwhelmed and ready for my reward, and I’ve got to get back to me and go harder to become the best version of me for my kids, and my husband because they deserve that, and they all need me. My family is everything to me. This life is crazy, especially the Traditional Wife Mom Life. That’s what my kids say I am. Don’t I have to be Mormon? Apparently not. My husband always tells me I am way more than just a Mom. Right, but Mom has to be happy in order for her family to be happy. So I need to get happy or everybody is fcked.

YOU NEED SOME HAPPY

There’s an easier way out. Don’t feel like this. Figure out what you are gonna do with your life. Build your community, and get help when needed. If you ever need support, you can come talk to me, shoot me an email to help@fckthat.com I will listen with no judgement. It’s hard out here for a pimp you know what I’m saying? Pimps cry too. You don’t have to settle. You can be everything, but first find you some happy. Don’t distance yourself. Me personally, I try to be for somebody else the person I need. But how do I get back to business after the bullshit? Wait it out.

ABOUT ANXIETY

It gives me anxiety thinking about it. Don’t box yourself out. Sometime we feel inadequent and misplaced because our kids grow up and don’t need us anymore when in fact our whole life has been adjusted to accommodate them. Now we have nothing to do and have to face our plain ass life. You betta get you an hobby. And that’s just not true, children will forever need their mommy. It’s pressure being a wife, there’s more to this shit than cooking and cleaning. You gotta know some shit, and have the know-how to figure it out. We forfeit all dreams and goals when we become a wife and mother, but we don’t have to.

DO NOT LIVE IN DARKNESS

Find an outlet to release that energy because negative thinking and living in darkness will make you sick. It’s fine and you can do whatever, just get yourself out of it, don’t stay too long or you become complacent wherever you are. I will land my plane with this: At the of the day, nobody gives a fck about how I feel. I gotta try again, shake that shit off, get back to it, and keep pushing. Because nobody can help me better than me? That goes for you too. One

PROMOTION

• Share FckThat Newsletter

• Listen to Podcast

• Ashwaganda Anxiety Gummies

• Ballroom Dance Lessons

• Must read very powerful book The Power Of The Mindset by Amy Reese

  

Thanks for your support.

FCKTHAT

Fck anxiety! Enjoy your fcking weekend. Thanks for reading. Be easy. One

Catch you next Friday!

Email questions, comments, and suggestions to help@fckthat.com